Reflecting on the webinar.

Ah, the webinar. The culmination of our semester. For me, it was a last chance to prove that our ideas actually meant something and were interesting to others.

Our turnout was great, and everyone had insightful ideas and questions (except for the trolls, which I think I will have to throw into Mount Doom). The only thing I wish was that I had been able to say more. The chat stream along with the video and the private vs. public messages, it got a little crazy and it was difficult to keep up! However, I felt like I was at least able to air out a couple of my ideas, which was gratifying, since I haven't had a ton of feedback social-proof wise throughout this semester. The most significant part about the questions that came up about my thesis was that I had to apply it. Usually, it feels like you're handing someone a plate of raw fish, which some people politely accept, and others sort of give you a funny look. But when people actually ask about your ideas and how they apply in the real world, it's like they take that plate, eat what's on it, and tell you what kind of spices you could have used to make it better. It's surprising, and it makes you rethink everything you put out there. (Sorry for the crazy analogy, I'm a little hungry).

All in all, I thought the webinar was a success!

Reflections.

The day I turned in my final paper, I was walking quickly to the Humanities building. It was so hot outside. Perhaps it was the heat of my panic?  My eyes were burning too, probably from the lack of sleep. I frantically pushed the button for the elevator. Then I realized I had punched the 'down' button instead of the 'up'.  Shoot. So I started jogging up the stairs with laptop and 16 sheets of precious paper in hand. My legs were burning from a previous workout, but I had to hurry. Finally, I reached the fourth floor and strode into Dr.Burton's office, where Greg and MaKenna were calmly seated. I tried to echo their relaxed manner, instead of acting out the part of the whirling dervish that I usually portray.

This is a bit how I've felt all semester. A little bit out of control (which is ironic, considering that that has been my topic of focus for most of the semester), a little bit crazy and always hurrying on to the next thing. I have learned so much, not only about digital media and literature and people, but about myself. Just to let ya'll know, I have NEVER been a class clown, or even that outspoken, in ANY class. I sit there, take my notes, do my work. But in this one, I have felt it has been easier to get out of my comfort zone, on the internet with this blog, in the classroom, collaborating with my classmates, in everyday life, talking to people about my ideas. I feel like I have poured my self into this class.

However, because I have been putting so much of myself into what I have been doing, I can't take a critical look at my writing, on this blog and in my paper, without taking a critical look at myself. I have realized a few things:

1. I cannot depend on just my own knowledge. I have to be able to let people help me. I've realized that there are a lot of talented people out there, and they can help you in areas where you're lacking.
2. I have more personality than I thought I did, because it leaks everywhere. My writing is not complete unless it has something that is me. Which I need to learn to control, especially when writing a research paper.
3. I have important ideas! I think solid thoughts and I should communicate them, not let them sit in my head.
I feel like that's something the Dr. Burton emphasized that really rang a bell with me. No, not everyone will read, nor want to read my research paper, but ideas should be shared and expanded on. That's the beautiful thing about our digital age, we are discovering new ways to quickly spread ideas in an aesthetically pleasing way. There is so much to be experimented with and studied when it comes to the transfer of ideas, and I feel like I could play a part in it, at least in some small way, by sharing my own ideas.

I'm a big kid now: Learning Outcomes

1.  Learn and Follow the BYU-Idaho Learning Model
I really enjoyed utilizing this learning model this semester. I feel like I spent a lot of time preparing for each class. There wasn't a day that went by where I haven't thought about how whatever I'm doing could relate to this class. Teaching one another was definitely my most favorite part. I love idea-sharing and working with others and having them help me improve my ideas.
2. Write Substantially and Publicly About Literature
I'm going to be honest. I feel like I have written monsters of text this semester, probably more than I did all of fall and winter semesters combined. I have known from the beginning that I have a hard time developing coherent and clear ideas, especially when I let my personality outshine them. However, this class has helped me to step outside of the muddle I'm usually in and look at my writing more objectively. Making sure my writing applied to a "real audience" was new ground for me, and it was difficult for me sometimes to make sure it could be understood and respected by my audience.
3. Develop Research Skills
I loved this. I love playing with internet tools and looking at new ways of presenting information and making ideas engaging and personal. I felt like I have learned so much about utilizing different tools to make research quicker, easier and deeper than I could have ever accomplished before.
4. Perfect Ideas Socially
Like I said previously, I love working with others. I firmly believe in the idea that other's strengths can cover your weaknesses, and I am not afraid to admit that I am not good at something and someone could do better. Perhaps this is one of those times when someone could have done better, because I feel like I sent out feelers, searching for social proof, and got no return. Perhaps I was going through the wrong routes, or I just didn't contact enough people. If I had to go back and take this class again, this is where I would try to improve the most.
5. Gain Digital Literacy
When I started out with my idea as the Internet as a monster out of control, like in Frankenstein. I felt determined that I could paint this picture of an awful creature that has no discipline of any kind.  I should have paid more attention to the text itself, I suppose, because the monster was not just an evil, uncontrollable ball of chaos. It has the ability to create beautiful and wonderful and useful things. This is something else that I enjoyed in this class, was learning to be literate in tools that could help me be creative and connect with others, after consuming, of course.
6. Address Changes to Literary Study
Hey! I know stuff! But seriously. I feel like I can have a well-informed discussion about how literary study is changing due to digital media, anyday. Bring it on! Just the past weekend I had a long discussion with a good friend on the subject. There is a lot that is shifting and changing in the digital and education spheres, but I have my own, informed opinions that I can continue to develop as these worlds do.


I tried. I don't think I have ever put so much effort into a class in my life. This may sound dramatic, but it was seriously on my mind all the time, and it was so exciting for me to look at literature and digital tools in a new way. I have grown in thought. I haven't always been the girl with the opinion. I like to think before I speak, and make sure I'm going into something with a full-fledged idea. This class has given me the ability to do that better than I could have imagined.

It is finished.

Well, everyone, it's done. Here is the culmination of my efforts. Blood, sweat, tears and more than a few PB&J's went into this, so I hope you enjoy the fruits of my labors. Here it be.

Rough Draft

Sam Jenkins

Professor Burton

English 295

6/3/2012

“…a resistless, and almost frantic, impulse urged me forward; I seemed to have lost all soul or sensation but for this one pursuit (Shelley, 34).”

My eyes were burning, my head was spinning slightly. Should I just go to bed? No, this needs to be done. It has to look good. You can do it, Sam. I’m hungry, but I can’t eat. Redo a few more shots. Cut the music five more times. Wonder why I put so much effort into this.

Such is the state I found myself in while creating my video, “Creation Clash”. The point of this video was to be a clear, concise, creative presentation of my idea for my research paper. But, the creative part of it got a little out of hand. Looking back at it now, I probably was identical to Victor Frankenstein. I took the body parts of various ideas and fused them together, feverishly, obsessively working on a grueling project that (minimally) taxed my health. The video itself turned out a fairly monsterous mess, in terms of how much confusion and frustration it brought to those who watched it.

However, this experience could be considered a microcosm of my subject. Just as I created a video that turned out in a way I hadn’t wanted, so we could see that the Internet itself is a creation out of control. Put in the terms of Mary Shelley’s novel Frankenstein, I will be exploring the concept of the Internet as a monster.

The Analogy

Oh, the memories.

As I am working in the wee hours of the morning on my research paper, this memory came to my mind that I wanted to share:

When I was probably in kindergarten, my parents had a computer in their bedroom, their first home office. It was a tan, ugly, big block of plastic that squatted on my parent's desk. I had to do a diagram of the solar system for my class one night, this probably being the first of many projects that my dad lost precious sleep over. To get inspiration for each of the planets, my dad fired up the old tan beast and sat me on his lap as we listened to the clanging, ringing sounds that signaled dial-up was doing its thing.

I recall being amazed as my dad showed me pictures and information on the planets, more I could dream possible. You could see the beautiful blue color of Neptune right on the screen, without having to search through a book to find the right page. The possibilities seemed endless. Now, as I sit with my slim computer on my lap, knowing a bit more about this strange world we call the internet,  I feel that the possibilities are as endless as ever. The internet exists independent from any singular person's control, but there is so much we can do to affect it.

This is my little sister Olivia. This picture just embodies childhood, when pants can equal a scabbard, and there seems to be more mysterious and wonderful things.

Clear as mud.

As I seek to wrangle the first draft of my research paper, I decided to do a little clarification. I really, truly, with all my heart, liver, and spleen hope that this clears things up. Let me know what you think?

I like making videos waaaaaaay too much.

Okey dokey folksies, here is a video hopefully depicting what I'm trying to get across on this blog. I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I did making it.

You can check out the videos which had to be cut down to be squeezed into this one hither and yon.

Bacteria, fungus, and monsters, oh my!

One of my favorite parts of Frankenstein is the fact that you can't really tell who the antagonist is. Both Frankenstein and his monster did and said things that make them monsterous in their own ways, if not equally monsterous. I know the analogy isn't perfect, but let's think of copyright as Frankenstein, and creative commons as his creation.

Many people see Frankenstein as the monster. He abandoned and rejected his creation, and it turned on him like he probably deserved. But I like to think back to when he was feverishly working. He gave up sleep, food, and other comforts, obsessively working on this project. It was supposed to be something that would change the world. Copyright is like this. They are creators in their own right, creators who are trying to protect people's content from being misused, "trying" being the key word. They are seen as a monster in their own right, the one that cracks down, stifles creative freedom, and keeps everything in the box. Because of these safety bars, copyright inadvertently created a monster made up of, let's say, parts from a couple of different bodies: pirating, stealing, etc., and creative commons.  

Creative commons is great. It creates a public sharing forum that allows creativity to blossom in ways it couldn't before. But there's a shadow cast by things that shine.

Let's think in laboratory terms. (I mean, I got an A in Bio 100, right?)

Petri dish = the internet.
Agar = Creative Commons.

Stuff that grows = Content created.

 Let's say we happen to get a sample of a wide variety of bacteria-like things (maybe we swabbed my little brother' pockets or something, who knows what he keeps in there), and we stick it in the agar and let it incubate. We check on it, and we have some pretty purple spots and some green and yellow and a big blotch of white mold. It looks pretty cool, so we stick it back in the incubator for a little longer.

When we pull it out, we realize that we have a huge, dangerous blot of some fungus that is not only deadly to humans, but is feeding off the benign bacteria that were just chillin' in the petri dish. Do you kinda see where I'm going with this? 

While creative commons gives a better ability to create, these creations can sometimes get out of our control. On the other hand, while copyright gives us the ability to control, many think that it stifles creativity. So, who's the real monster?

"In the beginning...", Sam created a minipaper.

This picture is to get your attention. 

Some people like to think that Frankenstein's monster didn't disappear and achieve his own end. In fact, you can still feel his presence everywhere, from social media to cereal boxes and the musical stage. Similar to Frankenstein's monster, what we create and put on the internet can often take a life of it's own. The internet could be compared to a laboratory. Everyone in it is tinkering in the corners of the room, taking bits and pieces of each other's ideas and sometimes setting their creations loose to see what kind of response it receives. In artistic expression, even though someone might be certifiably insane, their creation can still be appreciated as art. The internet is being used as an outlet of expression in ways that no one had ever dreamed possible. How it is that we are supposed to appreciate those things created on the internet?

We can appreciate creations of others, especially on the internet by how relatable they are to ourselves, and through the creation's applicability to a greater audience.

Social Lairtion

Proof.
Take a look at that word for a few seconds. Am I the only one that thinks that's a ridiculous word to use for the information that could spare an innocent's life, validate someone's life work, or bring a criminal to justice? It sounds wimpy and fairy-like!
Try this instead: Lairtion (lair-shun).

Say it in a deep, commanding voice. Now say it the same way with some expressive eyebrow movement. It's much better, isn't it? I decided to validate my new word using social proof.  Social proof is what I like to think of as shaping and reinforcing your ideas based on what other people have said on your topic and about your ideas. Result: My roommates thought lairtion was dumb, and that proof works just fine. Dramatic sigh.

Now, this was an extremely roundabout way to getting to the social proof I will be using to validate my ideas pertaining to creativity and Frankenstein. I've been emailing and searching like a fiend, and I hope that I will be able to get some feedback from those people I have contacted.

Act One: The first people I asked to take a look at my ideas on my blog were my mom and my grandma. Of course, they both said nice things about it and how cool it was that I was venturing into the blogosphere. Then was a big step: posting it on Facebook. I'm not going to lie, I was terrified. But I suppose that my fears were in vain, because no one said anything about it. At all. Not even a single "like". Okay, it's cool, it's cool. I decided to move out of my personal sphere and try contacting those enthusiasts and experts that could give me some really solid feedback on my ideas (if only they'd reply!).

Frankensources!

I've never smelled frankincense. But I bet it doesn't smell better than sweet victory! Specifically, this one. Here are some of the oh-so-scholarly things I've been reading in order to back up my "tweethis" (a thesis statement in 140 characters, give or take). As Captain Walden (perhaps) once said, "We have our heading". Okay, I'm pretty sure Jack Sparrow said that.
Anyway, here are the lines I've been thinking along.

Tweethis: What we create and put on the internet can often take on a life of it's own, like #Frankenstein's monster. The thing we wonder is whether our creations are inherently good or inherently destructive.

God said, "Let there be light", and then there was...a blog post.

"Mary Shelley's Frankenstein: Creation, Frustration, Fragmentation, Abomination" by Devon Anderson of Brown University, has some thought-provoking questions. I sought to answer a few of them below. Click here to see what he wrote.

Q: "Are acts of creation inherently fragmenting? Does the creator always become what he or she creates?"

A: My first gut response to these questions is no. Art, literature, etc, can be created without being emotionally attached to it. "A work of art in no way resembles the man who made it or the method by which it was made;" When I was in 8th grade, I wrote a sad, angry poem, speaking to a boy that had slighted me (cute, eh?). In reality, no boy had hurt my feelings other than maybe pushing me off a swing, but the poem was fun to write. My loving parents were concerned about the dark nature of the poem, and that's when I realized that when writing, you can portray yourself in whatever way you wish. If we apply this to online creation, we see many places where this is true. People create avatars, profiles, and entire alternate realities pretending to be a different person. Recently I came across a website that is the IM conversations between a man and his cat. The possibilities of creations living lives separate from that of their creators are certainly great.

More scary stuff.

It is hard sometimes to put content on the internet. As they tell you in all those internet safety lessons, once something is on the internet, it's there FOREVER. And people may like it (i.e., your friend that gets your jokes and your mom/grandma), or they may send you hate comments for as long as it's posted. But that's the thing about the internet. It isn't really a place for only passive consuming. The ability to create and share instantaneously is an opportunity unique to our day and age. So why not take advantage of it? Answer: IT'S SCARY.

A rough sketch.

Allrighty kids, sit back with a handful of your favorite nuts and berries and get ready to take a gander at some of the main differences between today's "Frankenstein" and Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein's monster", narrated by yours truly. I'm sure you're thrilled to bits.

"SHE'S ALIIIIIIIVE!"

When I say "Frankenstein", very few people picture the cover of Mary Shelley's novel. We picture the bolted, green-tinged monster that everyone knows and loves.  Why why why why?! This is not the monster I see! My monster-not green, is athletic, and certainly more intelligent that this one. Most people's monster is monosyllabic, childish, and either a purely evil killing machine or a misguided, misunderstood lover. The change that Frankenstein's monster has undergone over the years is something I'd like to dig deeper into. But let me tell you, I ain't writing a research paper. I need to flex my creative muscles, and ya'll are invited to the gun show (art show?).

Let me be honest, my dad helped me with all my school projects (A+ projects, every single one. My dad is a creative GENIUS). But I'm bound and determined to look at Frankenstein in a way the no one has before.

My genius father (and my adorable brother).

If you have any ideas or suggestions, all would be appreciated! (PLEASE).

Monsterous thoughts.

First, I'm going to ask for a little forgiveness here. My last post essentially claimed that Facebook= a bunch of kids that only want attention and reassurance to nurse their narcissism.

Now, I would like to quote my English 295 professor: "Be careful about answering narcissism with judgmentalism. You have a nearly magical way of constantly knowing about and being able serve the needs of 100s of your friends. It's worth looking past a lot of fluff and junk. Those are real people on the other end of those computers, and all of us are figuring out the new media and not always using them for the best."
So, I'm sorry for being so negative, friends. Like Professor Burton said, "...all of us are figuring out the new media and not always using them for the best." Lesson = learned. Give me the gold star!

And of course, just like in real life, sometimes you have to apply your lessons right away, like with this article.

Don't you like me???

This post brought to you by: Jen. You should check out her blog and the my fellow classmates' here. They say good stuff!
In her post, Jen talked about how addicted to Facebook people are nowadays, and how public everything is.
I'm not going to lie here and say that I am not. I love Facebook. I love creeping on people and that satisfied feeling when your picture/status gets a lot of likes. I don't update as much as some people, and I usually try to stick to general, need-to-know info most of the time. However, I'm not always good.
Take this picture, for example.I put it up approximately 20 minutes after Carley and I finished our last finals. I could have taken my much-needed nap right then. Or started the enormous amount of packing and cleaning that had to be done. Instead, I called Carley over and we took this (adorable) picture and put it straight on Facebook.

"These are our we're-so-happy-to-be done-with-finals-we-could-cry faces. Thank goodness."

"It's a form of terrorism."

So said my English 231 professor, last semester. What he was referring to had nothing to do with planes, bombs, or underwear, but rather, the correction of grammar mistakes. Do you remember that grade school teacher that didn't let you go until you used the specific code wording, "May I go to the bathroom?" I do. Her name was Ms.Kaminski, whose name will live on in my memory and will also be associated with making us eat crackers without dropping crumbs on the floor (not humanly possible!). Anyway, this isn't a rant about past grade school teachers, but it is some of my thoughts on the internet grammar phenomenon that has been prevalent the past few years.

"I shall commit my thoughts to paper..." Or blog.

Chapter 2 of Writing About Literature in the Digital Age was one that stuck out to me like the iconic bolts jutting from movie-Frankenstein's neck (I'm sorry, I can't help but use Frankenstein references now). This chapter, in particular the subsections of Blogging Benefit: Process over Product and Writing More, connected with me. Like any other student, I tend to write my papers all in one go, usually at ridiculous hours of the night, hoping that my feverish brain will produce some viable content. It's an uncomfortable process. It's a dreaded process. Very few want to write long papers on things that do not interest them. However, with blogging, one can receive "a comfort level, a habit-- even an identity  as a writer."* The true benefit from this is the blog posts, once added up, "create an ample supply of less developed ideas that can readily become more developed:" This especially struck a chord with me, considering my weakness with underdeveloped ideas. In addition, the "process- rather than product- oriented" way of writing is intriguing to me, seeing that I'm always reaching to that fill up that cursed last page assigned, rather than focusing on the ideas that go into the paper. I'm excited to use electronic media to access and toy with different ideas.

*All quotes come from Writing About Literature in the Digital Age by Gideon Burton et. al.

Frankenstein!

Anyone that knows me, knows I HATE scary things. Scary movies = eyes closed for approximately 1 hr., 35 mins. The Halloween store = A 5 minute sprint to grab everything I need and get out. Even those cheesy Goosebumps books had me skittering to the other side of the room. So, why in the name of Santa Claus would I enjoy Frankenstein? Frankenstein is THE horror novel, Sam! I know, I know.  Here are some of my reasons.

1) It's not what I thought it was. It was a nice surprise, even. I was expecting something along the lines of all the movies I'd seen (which was a silly assumption, considering that movies made on books are hardly ever good). But instead I got a novel that considered aspects of human nature that made me question my own definition of what it is to be human, and other things as well.
2) It's layered. I like onions, cakes and books with more than one layer of story and meaning. It is a book that can trigger something new in your mind each time, as I've found with Frankenstein.
3) Probably the biggest reason, is it's out of my normal comfort range. I'm all about stories with happy endings, granted that it's preceded by a little trouble. In Frankenstein, you don't even know who the hero is, much less the villian. And like a good ol' Bill Shakespeare tragedy, pretty much everyone dies. Heroes don't die in "nice" stories. Or Disney movies.

In any event, I've decided I'll be makin' some sense of Frankenstein.

"We never do what we wish when we wish it." -Mary Shelley

Okay, I'll admit it. I was the kid that always took a cookie from the cookie jar. If I wanted something (usually, a food item. I wasn't planning jewlery heists here) I would sneak into the fridge or the cupboard and retrieve the desired item. My parents would ask all the kids who ate the last piece of cake or the leftovers from their fancy dinner. Hint: it was never me. Even though my parents caught on and now I have cut back on my food frauds, I do tend to enjoy what I like to call "collaboration" when it comes to schoolwork. Just so you know: I am NOT cheating, plagarizing, etc.  But I do like to pick the brains of others for insights, ideas, feedback, etc. It helps solidify and change my own ideas. This is why I like the BYU-Idaho learning model, which consists of:
1) Prepare
-Individually and with others
2) Teach One Another
-Many brains are better than one!
3) Ponder and Prove
-Think it over, and then run with it.

And this will ultimately result in self-directed learning, a big part of my English 295 class this semester. Mary Shelley's quote goes along with this. We won't get anywhere if we sit here wishing. I wouldn't have gotten yummy treats if I hadn't gotten up to the cupboard and gotten them, right? Which I think is one of the main reasons I have this blog. It's to get my ideas out, so in return, other's can help me with their own.