Reflections.

The day I turned in my final paper, I was walking quickly to the Humanities building. It was so hot outside. Perhaps it was the heat of my panic?  My eyes were burning too, probably from the lack of sleep. I frantically pushed the button for the elevator. Then I realized I had punched the 'down' button instead of the 'up'.  Shoot. So I started jogging up the stairs with laptop and 16 sheets of precious paper in hand. My legs were burning from a previous workout, but I had to hurry. Finally, I reached the fourth floor and strode into Dr.Burton's office, where Greg and MaKenna were calmly seated. I tried to echo their relaxed manner, instead of acting out the part of the whirling dervish that I usually portray.

This is a bit how I've felt all semester. A little bit out of control (which is ironic, considering that that has been my topic of focus for most of the semester), a little bit crazy and always hurrying on to the next thing. I have learned so much, not only about digital media and literature and people, but about myself. Just to let ya'll know, I have NEVER been a class clown, or even that outspoken, in ANY class. I sit there, take my notes, do my work. But in this one, I have felt it has been easier to get out of my comfort zone, on the internet with this blog, in the classroom, collaborating with my classmates, in everyday life, talking to people about my ideas. I feel like I have poured my self into this class.

However, because I have been putting so much of myself into what I have been doing, I can't take a critical look at my writing, on this blog and in my paper, without taking a critical look at myself. I have realized a few things:

1. I cannot depend on just my own knowledge. I have to be able to let people help me. I've realized that there are a lot of talented people out there, and they can help you in areas where you're lacking.
2. I have more personality than I thought I did, because it leaks everywhere. My writing is not complete unless it has something that is me. Which I need to learn to control, especially when writing a research paper.
3. I have important ideas! I think solid thoughts and I should communicate them, not let them sit in my head.
I feel like that's something the Dr. Burton emphasized that really rang a bell with me. No, not everyone will read, nor want to read my research paper, but ideas should be shared and expanded on. That's the beautiful thing about our digital age, we are discovering new ways to quickly spread ideas in an aesthetically pleasing way. There is so much to be experimented with and studied when it comes to the transfer of ideas, and I feel like I could play a part in it, at least in some small way, by sharing my own ideas.